I have decided to drag all you along for this journey...it may be a dark journey, it may be a hopeless one, it may just be me meandering through the chaotic morass of my psyche with no destination on the horizon, but if you read my blog, you are going to be in for an interesting trip.
So, buckle up, dear readers, "bumpy ride" doesn't even begin to describe this journey!
First....since my life has descended into such chaos, the first task is for me to establish routines and schedules. This will help "retrain" my brain and body and give me the psychological comfort of a type of normalcy.
So, when I get up, before anything else, I shower, do my hair, put in my dentures, put on some make up and dress appropriately for the days tasks/appointments/whatever. No slogging around in my pajamas, no just yanking my hair back in a ponytail. Neat, clean, tidy and ready for the day.
Everyday, Every Single Day, I find one thing that will give me at least a moment of joy or peace.
This has been extremely difficult for me. But, searching for something, I decided to try watching the sunrise. I am not sleeping much, anyway and I had found myself awake at 4:30 - 5:00 every morning anyway. So, now I go out on the porch here and just give myself over to the sunrise .I try not to even think during this, just watch as the world here wakes up and takes it's first breaths of the day.
This morning was a gentle, misty sunrise. Just what I needed. Soothing.
So, routine and sunrises.
It may not be a lot, but right now, it's all I got.