Monday, September 20, 2010

Big Red vs Me: Round One

Big Red is our rooster.
A magnificent fowl, he is the epitome of the barnyard rooster found in childrens books. Beautiful feathers, a crow that can be heard blocks away and totally protective of his *girls*.
One problem...Red was bred to be a fighting rooster. Yes, cock-fighting is illegal, but not in Mexico and we are so close to the border that those sort of things drift across with the immigrants.
So, Red was bred to be aggressive. Now, since his chances at being a champion in the fighting ring were stymied by a neighbor that rescued him from that fate, and then gifted the rogue rooster to us, he is understandably frustrated. He dreams, no doubt, of championship belts slung around his feathered mid-section.

Apparently, he feels that my Darling Man and I are the guilty parties that derailed his fighting career.
Any foray into Red's domain is greeted by feather fluffing, charges, upraised talons and pecking beak!
The Darling Man began carrying a broom with him and Red soon learned "Big Man carries Big Stick and WILL whap me"!
I assumed that Red and I could reach a kinder, gentler understanding. After all, I came into his kingdom to deliver food and rake out manure! Surely Red would LIKE me!
He attacked me with a ferocity that should have been reserved to fight off hordes of rabid hyenas.
I retreated and plotted strategy. I didn't want to be seen as "Big Woman with Big Stick". I just don't see myself as a mean person with a stick!
Well, I had to go refill the water for the chickens and the goats. Maybe I was just distracted, I don't know. Anyway, I just went ahead and tromped into Red's domain without any stick or any back-up.
I did, however, have the water hose!
Red saw me and started his charge.
Instinctively, I sprayed the damn bird with the water hose.
Red stopped in mid charge. I swear his beaky little mouth dropped open in amazement.
He back-pedaled rapidly and conferred in a corner of the pen with his ladies; Miss Priscilla and Gertrude.
All three chickens took turns peeking over at me as they chattered and clucked away in the corner.
I serenely filled the water trough for the goats and the chickens.
I am now "Big Woman Brings Water" to Red.
When I enter into his kingdom, he retires to a corner and studiously ignores me.
I have won Round One.

1 comment:

  1. Speaking as one who, as a child, was both rooster and turkey chased I applaud your "reaching an understanding" with Red.


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